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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29698524">Embers and Ashes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackAcre13/pseuds/BlackAcre13'>BlackAcre13</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ocean's 8 (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Best Friends, Cigarettes, Couple Fight, Debbie Ocean isn't in control of her feelings, Debbie and Lou are idiots again, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Feelings Realization, Flirting, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Fuck buddies to girlfriends, Gay Panic, Heist Wives, Lots of Cursing, Love Confessions, Lover's Quarrel, Pre-Canon, Sexual Tension, Smoking, big fight, deep talks, fight, heist girlfriends, hinting at sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:07:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,929</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29698524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackAcre13/pseuds/BlackAcre13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’ve got a job,” Lou sighed.</p>
<p>“A good one.” Debbie grinned.</p>
<p>“Debs,” Lou groaned, the cigarette bobbing between her lips.</p>
<p>“It’s a club.”</p>
<p>Lou turned to her, trying to find something in Debbie’s eyes. A glimmer of honesty, perhaps. She frowned and shook her head.</p>
<p>“It’s not the right time, yet.” Lou muttered. She flicked the cigarette from her mouth and watched it blow smoke up from the pavement.</p>
<p>“Are you fucking with me?” Debbie asked, eyebrows raised.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lou Miller &amp; Debbie Ocean, Lou Miller/Debbie Ocean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Embers and Ashes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was supposed to be a one-shot for my collection of song-based fics, "Song to Song" but it went completely differently than expected once I started writing and I didn't think it felt the original lyrics anymore, so I scrapped them and finished this to post alone! (Don't worry, I'll still use the lyrics!!) Happy reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Debbie disappeared. A lot.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Five minutes. Fifteen minutes. Five hours. Five days. Five weeks, once. Never more than that though.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou never bothered to ask. And Lou tried her hardest not to imagine that one day it could be five months. Or worse, five years.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As much as she understood 99% of the thoughts that ticked in Deborah Ocean’s brain and the droplets that pumped through her bloodstream, there was always that 1% she didn’t know. That she’d never know. Knowledge and insight gathered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Lou didn’t mind. Because the rest of the world probably couldn’t even understand 50% of Deborah Ocean. And Deborah Ocean wouldn’t give them the time of day to even know, see, or have the chance to figure any of her out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, Lou never bothered to ask. She figured, even if she could understand, there wasn’t a reason for her to know. If Debbie needed to disappear once in a while, just for a little while, that was fine by her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss her when she disappeared. And she’d be lying if she said that she never worried when Debbie disappeared, even if she understood. Worried if Debbie had disappeared this time because of her, because of Danny, because of something else. Worried how long she’d be gone, how and when she’d come back, and most haunting, if she would ever come back this time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And she’d be lying if she said she didn’t notice that Debbie had been disappearing more and more lately.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou didn’t bother rolling over to see if Debbie was asleep beside her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She was either a heartbeat away in the living room or the kitchen. Or somewhere in New York City. She hoped.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou shuddered at the sudden cold that crept into her fingers and toes as she shifted beneath the blankets. She smiled sheepishly to herself realizing that she was probably colder than usual since she was completely naked thanks to Debbie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She grinned warmly at the thought of a sleepy and determined Debbie, trailing her fingers lightly across Lou’s thigh silently asking for a favor of sorts. Lou giving in with a gasp as fingers felt heat and slickness pooling in her boy shorts as discovered by Debbie.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou had promised Debbie breakfast in the morning, so she hoped against hope that Debbie would be back within the hour or so to hold her to it. Debbie was never one to shy away from food.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She braced herself for the cold before wincing as she removed the covers and ran towards their shared closet before coming across a sweatshirt that was definitely Debbie’s, no, Danny’s, and swiping a pair of boxers off the floor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fumbling around in her night stand, Lou quickly found her beaten up box of Lucky’s that Debbie had squished when holding Lou tight and close as they escaped from a club they’d robbed on Lou’s bike. Lou didn’t mind. In fact, she grinned at the box and tried not to get distracted as she felt Debbie’s arms squeezing her waist and her breath on Lou’s ear as she whispered things Lou couldn’t hear above the engine. She wondered if it was in moments like that, on the bike, where Debbie revealed her true feelings and most of the secrets unknown to Lou, telling her in her own way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou shook the feeling off and grabbed a cigarette from the box, along with her favorite lighter, and headed towards the front stoop of their apartment. She sucked in feelings, lust, confusion, and loss deep into her lungs and released them in a cloud of smoke. Lou hummed lightly at the sensation in her lungs, closing her eyes to think. She let out another drag of the cigarette, and felt someone’s presence in front of her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The smoke blew across Debbie’s face, slowly revealing deep chocolate eyes, and a smooth wave of her hand swiping the smoke away quickly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Mind if I join you?” Debbie smiled, tucking a folded piece of paper into her coat pocket.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou motioned to the step of the stoop beside her and handed her the cigarette once she was settled. Lou waited as Debbie took the cigarette between her fingers thoughtfully and took a short pull. She handed it to Lou as she leaned back against the concrete steps looking up at the sky.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’ve got a job,” Lou sighed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“A good one.” Debbie grinned.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Debs,” Lou groaned, the cigarette bobbing between her lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s a club.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou turned to her, trying to find something in Debbie’s eyes. A glimmer of honesty, perhaps. She frowned and shook her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not the right time, yet.” Lou muttered. She flicked the cigarette from her mouth and watched it blow smoke up from the pavement.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Are you fucking with me?” Debbie asked, eyebrows raised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou concentrated on stomping out the cigarette with her shoe, carefully looking at the ashes as the last few embers flickered out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We can’t afford it, Debs,” Lou sighed. “You know that’s what I want. But it takes way more than just securing the club itself.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Debbie shrugged. “We’ll figure it out. We can find cash here and there.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Debs, you know that’s not responsible. It has to come from a legitimate source.” Lou sighed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I can get Danny on it. He’ll take out a credit line to cover any costs that come up.” Debbie tried.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I don’t want it like this,” Lou admitted, looking at Debbie’s shoes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey,” Debbie whispered. “Look at me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou looked up reluctantly, already knowing it would take more willpower to say no to Debbie’s face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m doing this for us, baby.” Debbie smiled softly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No,” Lou hissed. “You’re doing this for you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Debbie shrunk back as if Lou had slapped her. “What the hell are you talking about?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know once I have a club, I’ll be settled. And you’re free to find another partner. Or better yet, use my own club to take advantage of people. Steal wallets, pull strings from the inside, choose your own marks and lure them in somewhere.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Watered down vodka sold at an upcharge to a bunch of drunks who couldn’t tell you the difference if their life depended on it,” Debbie laughed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It’s not funny,” Lou exhaled. “I’m serious. I don’t want a job that ends with getting property that’s not ours. I want to choose and buy something with our own money. Something that’s safe. A guarantee. Not a plan that could backfire and land us both in prison.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’re not gonna end up in prison,” Debbie sighed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Better safe than sorry,” Lou muttered. She started to stand, leaning on the railing. “Come inside, I’ll make us breakfast. We can talk about this later.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Debbie stood, putting herself directly in front of Lou. “I want to discuss it now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Debbie,” Lou breathed, trying not to snap.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I need to know if you’re in or out right now.” Debbie spat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Or what?” Lou quipped.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll find someone else.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou froze. “What the fuck does that mean, Debbie?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Debbie offered nothing in return but a shrug and a smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Deborah, I swear to—"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I mean we never put a timeline on this,” Debbie admitted, motioning between us.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, that’s it then?” Lou laughed darkly. “I say no to one of what? Three hundred jobs? Because it doesn’t feel safe or like the right timing and that’s it. You’re done. You’re out. You’re over it. Over me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s not what I—” Debbie stammered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No? You didn’t just give me an ultimatum to do the job or you’ll leave me?” Lou barked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Lou, no. I—I just—I was just trying to say—I.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nice explanation,” Lou laughed, shaking her head. She was about to walk away. She didn’t know where to, but maybe this time, she’d be the one to escape. To leave. Make Debbie worry or wonder. If she even cared to. “You are just fucking unbelievable sometimes, Debbie. If I wasn’t in love with you, I swear I’d—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re what?” Debbie asked, shrinking back. “You…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“In love with you. Your stubborn, calculating, dense, clueless, gorgeous, genius, beautiful, hot ass, Ocean.” Lou chuckled. “Though it seems I’m alone in that boat now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Debbie inched ever closer toying with the frayed collar of Lou’s sweater, intensely focused on the fabric.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After what felt like hours of Lou’s heart beating practically in her throat, ripples of dizziness and nausea rolling through her waiting for any kind of response from Debbie, she looked up at Lou, still playing with the collar, but Lou realized she was using it as a fidget toy of sorts to ground herself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you.” Debbie suddenly whispered into Lou’s chest, wrapping around her tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Confusion and relief simmered through Lou slowly as she awkwardly reached out to wrap her own arms around Debbie, who was practically sinking into her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Debbie whispered over and over. Lou let her stay still, hugging her tightly, until she heard quiet sobs and sniffles, realizing that Debbie was a hysterical mess. “I love you. I love you so goddamn much.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, hey. Debs. Hey. You’re okay. Look at me.” Lou whispered, kissing her forehead.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Debbie looked up, her eyes swollen and cheeks covered in a mixture of snot and tears. Lou chuckled at her, the usual sophisticated and chic Deborah Ocean a bumbling, sloppy mess in front of her. Lou couldn’t have loved her more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll make French toast.” Lou smiled, rubbing Debbie’s back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Debbie nodded, still sniffling, and allowed Lou to guide her back up into their apartment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Debbie was seated at the table in Lou’s old, plaid robe, her hair secured under a towel, sipping Lou’s former mug of tea that Debbie had confiscated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How long have you known?” Debbie asked, looking at Lou over the rim of her mug.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Would it be cheesy to say the night we met?” Lou asked over her shoulder, before swiveling back to the kitchen counter. Cliche or not, it was definitely true.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Debbie observed her for a moment as she prodded a piece of bread into a bowl of egg yolks gently with a fork.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Don’t forget to add the—”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cinnamon. I got it, honey.” Lou laughed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I think I’ve loved you that long too,” Debbie admitted softly, her eyes on the mug.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Lou turned to her with a sly look. “Was it the leather pants that did it for you or the gaping neckline?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m serious,” Debbie laughed. “Not that I don’t appreciate your choice in clothing. Which, believe me, I more than do.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Come here,” Lou smiled. “I need a taste tester.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“There’s something besides breakfast I’d love a taste of.” Debbie suggested with a smirk, but she padded towards Lou quickly.</p>
<p>“Later,” Lou rolled her eyes. She handed Debbie a strawberry and watched her as she took a bite of it, handing the leafy remnants to Lou.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Thanks,” Lou uttered, thick with sarcasm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So, tell me some more about how you realized,” Debbie spoke, wrapping her arms around Lou’s waist. She kissed Lou on the shoulder.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Tell me some more about the club,” Lou asked gently. “How do we cover our asses and make sure it’s legit?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You, first.” Debbie teased.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fight me, Ocean.” Lou laughed.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Gladly.” Debbie agreed, sneaking around Lou’s hips to grab a second strawberry. She danced away towards the living room.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey, that’s part of breakfast. Come back here!” Lou yelled, but her sapphire eyes revealed nothing but glimmers of hope and love.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoyed this clusterfuck. Thanks for reading and commenting!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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